Mixed Feelings

11th October 2013 marks the last official day of my secondary school life. We'll be going off for our study leave and today's the last day we greet our teachers in a classroom setting. Ahh, mixed feelings I have about this. As much as I want to graduate, a part of me wants to be with this class for a little more time. No doubt, 4E1 may not be the best class ever. I have to admit that I didn't like the class in Sec 3, but as we get together more often, I started to see the good of this class. We grew so much together and I'm glad to say everyone's grown to be more mature. It's all the little things and insults we give one another that makes 4E1, 4E1. From dropping metal rulers on the ground and roaring Khairul's name as a class to calling Darren polarbaby69, to saying "calcium" as "calshium", etc. All these are memories made. I started to love this class more and more as the days go by.

Now that we're graduating, it's like I've stumbled upon realisation that this class is actually better than I thought. Although we started out to be kind of segregated, having many cliques of people in class, I'm glad to say we've more or less bonded as one. I'm certain that someday, ten or twenty years down the road, I'll eventually turn back and say "man, I miss my secondary school days!".

Class party today is probably the best class party I've ever had in my 4 years in HS. Thank you so much to Mrs Goh and Mdm Tan who treated us to so many boxes of pizzas, chicken wings and so many bottles of drinks.. I'm really blessed to have such wonderful and motherly CCs and I'll definitely miss you, teachers!

Stayed back for extra long to ask Ms Toh questions today. The queue was short, to be honest. Just me, Kenneth, Kimberly and Darren, but we took up over an hour just to ask questions. I'm really glad to have such awesome teachers who'll go the extra mile for us and not forgetting the super cute Mdm Zuraidah who stuck a post it saying "For my 4E1 Bio Babies". All these memories are memories I'll never want to forget.

18th October 2013 is graduation day- the last day we'll come together as a cohort. I'll miss every single detail- good or bad- in secondary school. HS was my 1st choice then and I'm proud to say that I've never regretted my choice.

Once a Hougean, forever a Hougean.

Words

Words- they can heal and they can hurt- are probably what people refer to as the most powerful weapon till date. Yeah, I'm taking a break and I thought I'd just blog. It's funny how everyone knows that words can hurt and yet, people use words to hurt people. Be it intentionally or unintentionally, the pain is still inflicted on a certain individual. Mixed feelings, yeah. Well, I'm not saying that I always choose my words wisely and I'm not saying that I'm a saint of sort, who never ever hurt people with my words. Well, I do admit that I sometimes unintentionally hurt people with my words and I'm awfully sorry for all that I've done, but certainly... at least I apologised right? Not like I'm saying it will help a lot or whatsoever but what I really can't understand is how some people can just hurt people with their words and get on with their lives oh so easily, not even feeling a pang of guilt. I mean seriously? You've got to be kidding me. I always feel that pang of guilt in me whenever I do something wrong, until I apologise. I just wonder how people can do away with that.

I'm not referring to anyone, though. I've always believed in learning lessons the hard way. I may not be right all the time; I'm not perfect. Neither are you. We're all flawed, but that's precisely what makes us human, right? I won't deny that I was kind of sad and stuff but it's over (at least for me) and I'm not gonna brood over things like that. Rather, I thank the person for making me see my priorities in life even more clearly than I've ever seen them and I'm so glad that I've since become more reserved a person and stopped sharing my personal feelings with others. You see, for me, I feel that it's no use sharing. At the end of the day, no one's really gonna help you through anything. You've still gotta be the one pulling yourself through, which is what's gonna make you stronger. It doesn't matter, how many times you get beaten down; what matters most is, how many times you actually stand back up. Resilience is key and to all the people out there who're struggling in one way or another, break free of what's pulling you down and emerge stronger.

"How you've started the journey doesn't matter; what matters most is how you're gonna end it. Are you going to finish ot strong? The ultimate choice lies in your hands."- I'll never forget these words of wisdom.